Alright kiddies, gather round, I am going to tell you a tale. This is the harrowing tale of the interview that would not happen, and would not die.

Our tale begins over Christmas break when I signed up for an interview at a career fair in Virginia. Law School takes its interviews very seriously and when I singed up for this interview I was given an e-mail along the line of "if you are late to this interview you are forever shamed and shall not get a job ever." So I handled it well by, largely, ignoring it.

I noticed that the organization I had an interview with would be at a career fair at the law school a week before the career fair I had an interview at (if you can understand that, you should try your hand at future estates) so decided to stop by the table for some face time.

So, the day before the interview, Ice-pocalypse hits. And I discover that not only don't my lights work when the electricity goes *bonk,* but my heat and hot water also cease. So I crash on a friend's floor. And am sick. And wake up at 4am in a dead swear nervous as hell with a nightmare of missing the interview, wandering around Virginia, not able to remember the number to call when you'll be late and they're mean and speaking so quietly I can't understand them. At 4am.

I like to think I've a pretty solid grasp on my crazy. This was rather bats for me, but at 7 am, I was chipper and bright and showered and feverish and miserable and out the door. So I shlupp my butt to Virginia and play nice with the folks at the career fair there, barely holding out (nervous I'll miss it anyway) for my interview. I finally manage to find the location, only to find that they aren't there. Grrr. So I wait to five minutes after the interview was supposed to end, go downstairs and tell the people who made sure I knew hell would come down upon me in a rain of fury if I was 2 seconds late to this thing that I'd been blown off. The result? "Oh, she said she'd be late. She never showed up? Darn. Sorry." *seething little ball of 101 degree fever in a blizzard with 1 hour to get back to DC)

So I bundle on my coat, knee socks, boots, hat, scarf, gloves until I look like a god-forsaken Eskimo. Then, she shows up. The power steering on her car went out. Oh, she really wanted to do the interview. Oh, yes, she'll call, she understands I'm busy and annoyed.

A few days later, she calls. We'll do the interview at her office.

I look up her office, there is a trail involved. Enter voice of doom. So, the morning rolls around, and I start out in my walking shoes and the third nice suit I have worn for these guys. I take a bus, a train, another train, and directions from a newsie (they have them here, no, they do not look like Leonardo DiCaprio) and find the trail. I'm a little behind schedule so I book it. It;s on 15th so I'm there, the house numbers are all wrong but like an abused girlfriend I hope it can change. 15th ave runs out. Damn. I call. The office doesn't answer. I leave a chipper message. I wander around. I discover that I might want to be on the other side of town and the cabby who stopped five blocks away and shouted "WHERE YA GOING??" can't find it on her GPS.

I recall. My sister has the internet!!!! "Ring. Ring. SISTER!! *sob* I'm LOST. and in Maryland!" She fires up the dial-up. By this time I am 15 minutes late at half way walking back to the woods I tracked through on that trail to get here. We find it! It's 20 miles away and the wrong address. I have been wandering for 5 miles. In the woods. In Maryland. Crying. Screw it, I go to school.

In class, a classmate comes up to me. "I see you have an internship with what's their names." I break down and explain. "Oh! I can get you an interview." Four days later, a voicemail "so sorry, we would love to do a phone interview." At this point, I've put in more work than I have to some of my serious relationships. I SHALL see this through!

(no subject)
Letter requesting recommendation from Boss in NY, aka "how I know I've lost it":

Hello [Boss]*,

I hope that all is well at the [mysterious place of employment] and your three day weekend was not full of snow. I am writing as it is that glorious time of year, when the 1Ls emerge from the depths of our first round of finals, blink our bleary eyes in an attempt to recover from that first Christmas break, and stare dead in the face of looming application deadlines for summer internships. I will be applying for internships here in DC (I love the [mysterious place of employment] dearly but will be in The Hague at the International Criminal Tribunal for the first four weeks of your Summer program) and would like to use you as a reference. Would that be acceptable? And if so, what contact information would you prefer I provide for you?

Thanks muchly in advance,

*identifying information redacted.

I have also sent similarly wonky e-mails to professors and calculated my GPA. As a result, I want to crawl under my desk and cuddle my International Law book, but must instead write a thingy for Rhetoric. Grfle.

I have often viewed my education (in the various forms it takes in my life) as a series of mountains. When I'm working on understanding a concept, I'm not really aware of what's going on around me, where I've been, or necessarily where I'm going. The focus is on the trudge in front of me. The moment I begin on a new effort of understanding, I feel foolish compared to the me of a few days ago, I see all the flaws in my understanding, and feel that I have to go down the side of the mountain I just climbed. But, occasionally, I hit that spot where, at the plateau of some concept, I can look out, see all the little plateaus I've perched on and remember all those climbs. But, more importantly for the purposes of this entry, I can see where I am, and where I'm going.

In my legal education, I've had a few different little moments of elucidation, many of them involving paranoia of escalators (thank you Torts), a "Sixth Sense" kind of "I see contracts" syndrome, and a PTSD twitch regarding use of the word "because." I got over most of them (evil escalators).

The mountain I'm looking at right now relates to a connection between the theory of law, and the adjudication of law. The theory of law relates, for example, to why a police officer, acting as a representative of the State, has a right to take my life, but the same individual, if not acting as an officer of the State, does not. Adjudication of the law relates to the process of determining if the officer was acting within his rights when he took my life. I find a significant rift in the level of discourse and ideas between my readings of specific cases, and my readings on theories. The specific cases assume a lot of authority of the state, which is not necessarily to be questioned by the reader (I know I find the habit of questioning an officer's right to shoot a suspect to be difficult to form). But my readings on legal theory about the necessity of assigning that right to an officer of the State, allowing the State, this symbolic entity, to act through an individual to protect itself and its interests, to both deepen my understanding of and respect for that right, but to also help me with a deeper questioning of my own assumptions about the rights of governments and their agents.

What I see in front of me is the ability to make these connections more steadily and to better my ability to question my own inherent assumptions. Studying legal theory makes me more aware of these things that I have always known to be right (that officers are allowed to carry guns) and therefore to call them forth for examination. I am hoping that this will make me a better advocate. I know it makes me a better me. I don't take as much for granted as I used to.

Any moment David Bowie and his crystal balls will show up with some muppets and I'll find myself saying "it's not fair". Nothing is as it seems in this here labyrinth.

BTW: my Con Law professor LOVES to talk about what life/politics were like for the Supreme Court in 1801. Also, he loves to talk about AZ's dumbwhittery re: the constitution. I had to apologize and explain why my head kept hitting the desk over the course of the class. I really wish my State would stop doing crazy nonsense that shows up in the NY Times. Please?

(no subject)
Back in the District, trying to get my work done for Monday so that this week doesn't take me out back and shoot me. No, seriously, it might just. Here's my work load for the coming week:

Monday: International Law - 34 pages of reading.
Con Law - 27 pages

Tuesday: Property - Not yet posted (oh, this is going to be a FUN class...)
Criminal Law - 28 pages (been working on it for days and still not done)

Wednesday: International Law - 42 pages
Rhetoric - 102 pages (yes, this is my busiest day)
Constitutional Law - 19 pages

Thursday: Property - not posted
Criminal Law - 6 pages, a video, and locate someone who's been exonerated. (This might be my favorite)

Friday: prep for Monday.

My crossing guard would take this opportunity to remind me that I signed up for this. And she'd be right, too.

Also, my smoke alarm does not like when I turn my oven on (no, it doesn't smoke, I just have a very touchy alarm and will speak with the amazing Super of awesome).

This has been your near-midnight dose of random.

(no subject)
Oh for lovely relaxation!

Though my version of this seems to involve over-committing to see friends and family and accomplish various tasks. There is a corset being made which only awaits the departure of family and Thursday (two friends have booked my time that day) to accomplish. I'm really looking forward to the new year. I think I'm going to mix it up and resolve to work out at least twice a week. We shall see what becomes of this, but I think it's doable if I am cautious with my schedule and don't get too insane with whatnot.

I still have Human Rights Brief Office stuff to finish.

I still need to apply for jobs.

I just wanna knit.

Oh, life.

(no subject)
Nothing quite so anxiety inducing as spending the evening and morning before an exam completely relaxed, then finishing the final an hour and fifteen minutes early. Yup. I double, triple checked everything. I have no idea what anyone else could possibly still be working on. I wasn't missing any pages. Oh well...

(no subject)
Everyone over-commits at some point in their law school career. I intentionally did so, just because I've never been that involved with extra-curriculars (or even curriculars at all) very much. It has definitely helped to be so busy. I simply don't have time to veg out and having a constant influx of floating deadlines that I have to run to stay on top of has left me feeling very productive. But the avalanche started getting a little much and the stress, lovely a creature as it can be, was a little on the heavy side. So I picked the heaviest straw with the least value and chucked it off this camel's back. I am no longer fundraising for EJF, largely because they won't fund any of the things I'm interested in. It wasn't taking up very much time at all, but it was such an unpleasant duty that the weight of procrastinating on it was taking up a lot of mental processes that I simply couldn't spare. I just sent the e-mail ten minutes ago and I already feel a million pounds lighter and like I can actually face my homework today. Oh priorities, how lovely you are!

(no subject)
rhetoric exam: taken
Rhetoric advice letter: turned in
90 pages of Torts: discouraged
Bank hulaballoo: exhausting
TSA: enraging
Looming deadlines for getting my stuff together this summer: intimidating
Looming finals: nauseating
Personal dramas: unneeded
Spontaneous trip out this morning to get B1s keys to her: sooooo necessary

Dear stress, I understand that you are a useful construction of The Way The World Is. But can you please go bother someone else? You've over-stayed your welcome.

This afternoon: cider

Open letter RE TSA
Dear Senator Kyl,

As a law abiding citizen of Arizona who travels regularly, occasionally to countries with high terrorism rates, I am appalled by the TSA's new security measures. I have been concerned for some time that the agency was significantly over-stepping the boundaries of effective security, and into the realm of un-justifiable interference with commerce. However, the recent addition of Advanced Imaging Technology with the option of public molestation by TSA employees is completely inappropriate, and probably criminal. As a citizen of the united states I value my basic rights to bodily integrity and personal freedom.

The new TSA protocols are a flagrant violation of the fourth amendment protection against unlawful search and seizure. What's more, I know from personal experience that these security measures will not make America safer, it only gives us more to fear from our own government. Maintaining a high security level in India has not made that country safer. I was frisked upon entering any populated place, but the agents no longer cared and India was not made safer. These measures do not serve the people.

I am also certain that even with these blatant abuses of power, the TSA will not be able to prevent attacks on aircraft. A certain level of terrorism is the price we pay for being a world power. No amount of frisking or strip searching could have prevented the Oklahoma City bombings. I, as an American, am willing to assume the risk presented of an occasional in-flight attack rather than the guaranteed violation of my person every single time I fly. Senator, this is the first Christmas in three years I will be able to see my family. In order to do that, I will have to subject myself to either a strip search or an invasive molestation at the hands of a government agency. I have never been convicted of nor suspected of a crime. You cannot tell me that this is just.

Not only are these measures terrible for public safety, security, and a blatant violation of the rights of American citizens, they will greatly inhibit the rights of airlines to free trade. No government agency should have the right to deny an industry access to its customers the way the TSA is doing now. The only reason I am flying now is because I cannot take the train. Senator, I beg of you, as a constituent and a woman in need of adequate representation in my government, please do whatever is in your power to have these atrocious violations of my rights dispelled.

Sincerely Yours,

(no subject)
so, the evil memo is turned in. I was really actually proud of what I managed to put out. Especially since it's worth 25% of our grade. Then, yesterday, when sitting in a rhetoric review seminar, I realized that I completely messed up all of my short citations. Worth half a point each. At the end of each sentence. For 23 pages. Damn.

In other news, I'm a member of the Equal Justice Foundation so that I can hopefully get $4k for the summer if I do a public interest internship. I've been on a couple neighborhoods (we're supposed to go door to door of businesses to get donations for a charity auction, where we make most of our money) and the special contributions committee. We have to put in a minimum of 10 hours (definitely more because it's really competitive) to qualify. I've been looking into what I want to do this summer, and most of it involves judicial internships or government office positions. Which EJF doesn't fund. Damn. Of course, I didn't figure this out until I was waiting for my EJF partner in the wrong spot this morning. Damn. Damn. Damn.

So today I had a canvassing thing with another EJFer, and we were both sort of dreading it. There's something really.... indecent about going door to door to ask for money. The fact we were asking for a dinner for two didn't help. I was a girl-scout but I never sold any cookies except to family. I didn't care about the badges. I still don't. But I decided it would be good for me to get over this phobia and suck it up: NOBODY likes canvassing.

We actually had a really good time. I got along really well with my colleague and we were charming to managers and got favorable answers from everyone. And a lot of following-up to do. I'm getting better at charming strangers, even though I did sort of look like an academically disheveled hobo today. It seemed to work for me :P


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